Chapter 8

His gaze was lowered unable to meet hers. There was something wrong with this picture. Arnav Singh Raizada, the business tycoon that everyone feared, the man that everyone claimed was strong and stood tall, the man who never bowed down to anyone, was begging her, a middle class girl not to go, not to leave him alone. Khushi could feel his pain. Although she had stayed away from him all this time and tried to hate him for whatever he had done she never could. She loved as much, if not more, as she did when they were together. How could she turn and leave knowing how much it would hurt Arnav. She had so many mixed emotions, she didn’t know what to do. “Please,” she heard a soft voice coming from the door, “please don’t go,” Sanjana murmured. “I’m asking for the rest for my family,” she said moving away from the door exposing Nani, Anjali, Shyam, Aakash, Payal, Mama and Mami, their eyes pleading with Khushi. Khushi closed her eyes. Why? Why her? She couldn’t turn her back on an entire family, the family that made her one of their own. Her family. She took a deep breath and spoke, “I won’t go, but I can’t guarantee everything will be the same as it was before.” Anjali walked into the living room, “No one expects anything from you Khushi. It wasn’t only Arnav that wronged you. It was all of us. We just stood and watched, Sanju was the only one trying to make Arnav see sense but he was blinded by his anger. He’d still be today if it wasn’t for Sanjana. We all owe you an apology Khushi, not just Arnav alone.” Arnav had let go of Khushi while Anjali was speaking. Khushi took Anjali’s hand in hers, “You didn’t do anything, none of threw accusations at me and no one said anything so nobody needs to apologise.” Anjali knew Khushi was sincere. It was evident in her voice. Anjali smiled at Khushi and gave her tight hug followed by the rest of the family. “We’re glad that you’re here,” Nani said in tears, “it wasn’t the same without you.”

 

Sanjana had gone with Sameer to fetch Khushi’s belongings from the house she was staying at and had filled Shweta in on whatever had happened. She had sent it home with Sameer and went to Lucknow with Shweta and Adi to fetch everything in Khushi’s apartment and had been given an invitation for the wedding before she returned back to Delhi. Sanjana walked into the living room where everyone was chatting with Khushi – catching up on everything she had missed. She noticed that the whole family was there except for one person. She scanned the dining room and all the other rooms downstairs and then went upstairs. She opened the door but the room was empty. She walked in and saw a figure hunched over on the recliner next to the pool. She walked outside, “Arnav?” she asked. He looked up to see who it was. Sanjana felt her heart break when she saw him, he was a mess. His hair uncombed, his clothes creased and his eyes... his eyes were red. Sanjana immediately walked towards Arnav and sat down on the table in front of him. She put a hand on his cheek, “Arnav what happened? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” she asked all in one breath. Arnav took her hand and held it in his, “If it wasn’t for you I never would have known. If I got her back it’s only because of you Sanju,” his voice was soft barely audible, “You made me understand that she was innocent. You helped me get her back. God knows what I’ve done in my previous life to deserve a sister like you.” Sanjana couldn’t hold back her tears. How could someone love an orphan like her so much? She shook her head, “It’s not what you did, it’s what I did to get a family like this and a brother like you. You saw what happened. You were there that day. My brother, my own blood, left me for dead. He didn’t care whether I was living or not but you did. He left an eleven year old girl with no parents or any family to fend for herself but you begged Nani to bring me here. Not to leave me alone because you knew what it felt like. That’s why I know you so well. I know when you’re hurt and I know when you’re in pain but I can’t understand why you’re hurting now. She came back, she’s here with you then why...” she asked concerned. All she needed was one look to understand and Arnav knew that but he couldn’t hold it in anymore, “I hurt her. I broke her. I did everything I promised her I would never do and she still came back. Why would she Sanju? Why?” how could he not see it. Why did he always let his pain become more than anything else that he felt.

 

“Because she loves you,” Sanjana said with pride and admiration. Arnav’s head shot up and he looked at Sanjana shocked. “She tried a lot, she really did but she could never hate you or forget you. Her life had calmed down for a while until she saw you at the party. I used to go see her whenever I was in Lucknow but I didn’t want to tell anyone where she was because I knew they wouldn’t be able to hide it from you. I didn’t want to either but I had to. You wanted to find her and she didn’t want to be found. If you really loved her you would have found her without anyone’s help and you did,” she said smiling at her last sentence. She got up and stood at the edge of the pool, “I know she came back Arnav but it’s not going to be easy for her. She’s still wounded and it’ll only heal with time. Everything’s not going to back to what it was, not now at least. She needs time and space and hopefully with time you’ll be together like you were before,” she said grimly. “I know,” was Arnav’s response, “that’s what she needs and that’s what she’ll get. I’m not going to do anything that will hurt her. Never again.” Sanjana hugged Arnav and then left him to pull himself together before Khushi came upstairs.

 

Sanjana was going to her room when she bumped into Khushi in the passage, “Sorry,” they both said together then started laughing. “How did you get all my stuff here from Lucknow so quickly? It hasn’t even been a day,” she asked curiously. “Well... you were here early and it’s almost eleven thirty so technically it kinda is almost a day,” she winked at Khushi, “and it also helps when your brother has his own air transport,” she said smugly. “Ah, I see. Thank you anyway,” Khushi said smiling before heading off towards her room. Sanjana went to her closet and pulled out the suitcase she had put all Khushi’s stuff in and wheeled it to their room. Khushi just walked in the empty room when she heard a knock on the door and a thud. She turned around to see Sanjana with an apologetic smile on her face, “Sorry, it’s kind of heavy,” she said as she dragged the suitcase into the room. “It’s all your sarees, jewellery and other stuff that you didn’t take with you. I took it out of here and kept it,” she said apologetically. “It’s okay and thank you,” Khushi said hugging her. Sanjana smiled at her and was just about to leave when the bathroom door opened and Arnav walked out. Sanjana looked from Arnav to Khushi who were looking at each other as if there was no one else in the room. Sanjana cleared her throat, “Well this is awkward. I’ll just leave,” she said pointing towards the door. “Goodnight Arnav, goodnight Khushi,” she said mischievously and closed the door behind her.

 

There was an awkward silence after Sanjana had left. Arnav had a towel in his hand and was drying his hair when he noticed Khushi struggling to lift the suitcase up onto the bed. He walked to where she was standing with the suitcase and lifted it up onto the bed for her. He made his way to the side drawer next to the bed to get his phone when the contents of the bag caught his eye. Their wedding picture that Khushi had gotten blown up and framed to hang on the wall was right at the top. He had wondered where it had gone with the rest of Khushi’s stuff but then again he should have known better. Sanjana always did what she wanted whether anyone wanted her to or not.

 

Khushi froze seeing the picture when she opened the suitcase. It was her favourite picture of them that she had insisted on blowing up and framing and Arnav had happily agreed to do it. She had gotten so used to seeing the picture hanging on the wall that she thought the wall would look bland without it. She realized then that she hadn’t even looked around the room since she walked in. She turned to look at the wall where the picture used to be.

 

Her mouth had formed a perfect ‘o’ and her eyes were wide with shock.

Chapter 7

“This better be good. I cancelled a meeting for it and I’m seriously going to hurt you if I did it for nothing,” Sanju said casually as she leaned against the wall. He sat up and looked at her, “You won’t regret it. I promise. I need your help.” Sanjana stood upright stiffening. Her brother was never one to ask anyone for help but after everything he'd been through with the whole Khushi issue this was the last thing she expected. He had secluded himself and was totally isolated from the rest of the family. The only perason he actually spoke to or even interacted with were her, Nani and Di. She walked into the room taking one step at a time almost as if one wrong step would set off a bomb. "I'm listening," she said cautiously. Arnav stood up from where he was sitting and took a deep breath, " I saw Khushi today." He looked at her.  She sat down on the recliner and Arnav sat on the coffee table infront of her. Sanjana exhaled. She knew it was going to happen at sone point. They couldn't avoid each other for the rest of eternity. "It was bound to happen at some point Arnav, but you wanted to see her. Ever since you found out the truth all you've been doing is regretting everything you've done and said to her because you KNOW you were in the wrong and she didn't deserve any of it. You killed her Arnav, you killed her. How can you expect her to just accept you because you came along again? I've been keeping in contact with Shweta and Adi. They said she's not the same Khushi that left Lucknow three years ago to come to Delhi. Shweta knows everything Arnav, I had to tell. Her she needed to know why her friend changed but she also knows the reason behind it and understands your plight. She knows you were both just victims of a huge understanding," she took her brother's hand in hers. He looked up at her with red bloodshot eyes. "I... I need..."Arnav tried to speak. "Shh... You don't need to say anything. I know you better than anyone. I've been with you for twelve years Arnav. I know what you are going through. Everyone else thinks it's just because you can't control your anger and they're still mad at you for throwing her out, but after everything you've done for me how can I not do this for you Arnav. You mean everything to me and you’re the closest thing I have to family. We'll find a way to get Khushi back I promise,” she pulled him in for a hug securing her promise.

 

Khushi had been sitting in the temple with a million questions running through her mind and a thousand emotions flooding her. Understanding was beyond her. Why? Why after all this time does her heart still beat for him? No! She couldn’t open up again. She had healed but the scars were still there. If the wounds reopened they would never heal. She had to finish it once and for all. She stood up, wiped away her tears and walked down the stairs of the mandir determined and confident. She stopped a taxi outside the temple, “Where do you want to go ma’am?” asked the driver. Khushi got into the backseat of the taxi, “Shantivan,” she said and prepared herself for what she was going to do. Fifteen minutes later she stepped out onto the driveway of the Raizada mansion. She walked up to the doorstep and rang the doorbell, her other hand clutching her mangalsutra under her dupatta.

 

Arnav and Sanjana were sitting in the lounge watching tv when they heard the doorbell ring. Sanjana’s eyes were glued to the tv and Arnav was expecting Hariprakash to answer. “Sanju where’s HP?” he asked her trying to catch her attention. “Hmmm.... I sent him home because everyone else is gone for the party at the neighbours,” she replied brushing him off.  He huffed and walked towards the front door. The doorbell rang again. Arnav rolled his eyes and opened the door only to be taken aback, his eyes wide with shock as her name escaped his lips, “Khushi...” It was as if time was frozen and nothing else existed. He stared at her. He noticed she was fiddling with her dupatta – something she always did when she was nervous. A small smile crept up on his face. She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his with equal surprise. He gulped thinking why she would come here unable to come up with even one. “Would you like to come inside?” he asked her softly. She nodded and followed him into the living room where Sanjana was sitting with her eyes still stuck to the tv. Sanjana heard the familiar chime of Khushi’s anklets and immediately turned her attention from the tv to the two figures entering the room. “Well then...” Sanjana said with a this-is-awkward look on her face, “I’m supposed to meet Sameer just now so I’ll just go and get ready.” She smiled at Khushi then left the room with a mischievous smile on her face.

 

Khushi felt a little uneasy when Sanjana left the room. She sat down on the couch opposite Arnav not wanting to get too close. She stopped fiddling with her dupatta, took a deep breath and decided she would start, “Arnav... You’re probably wondering why I’m here after running away from you earlier but it took me some time and I decided I needed to talk to you. I was bound to run into you sometime or the other I guess I just didn’t think it would be this soon. We’ve met more than once Arnav but every time we meet I always seem to be reminded of something that happened between us earlier and I just...” her voice started breaking as tears started forming in her eyes. Arnav walked over to where she was sitting and kneeled down in front of her taking her hand in his. She was surprised because this was the last thing she expected Arnav to do. “I’m sorry Khushi. I know. You don’t have to tell me. It happens to me too but what makes it worse is that I’m responsible for it Khushi. If it wasn’t for me none of this would be happening and you’d be right here with me. Not coming to see me,” Arnav spoke but his tone was soft and he never once looked up at her. Khushi was taken aback by what Arnav had just said. She couldn’t understand any of it. She stood up, Arnav standing up with her but letting go of her hand, “What do you mean if it wasn’t for you? What did you do Arnav?” She had a strange kind of fear in her. She didn’t want to know what he did. It didn’t matter to her, she was nothing to him. But then again she wanted to know why he felt responsible for everything that had been happening recently. Arnav looked up at her for the first time since he spoke and she saw his eyes. Red. “It was my fault. I didn’t trust you. I should’ve listened to you but I didn’t. It was all just a huge misunderstanding Khushi and yet you got punished. You didn’t deserve any of it. Everything I said and did. It was a mistake, something I realised only when it was too late. When you were gone,” he said his voice full of regret and pain. Khushi was still, unmoving except for the tears flowing down her cheeks. Arnav spoke again, “It was Karan and Karan alone. When I found out I tried looking for you but I couldn’t find you anywhere. I know it’s not enough and it’ll never be able to compensate for everything I did Khushi but I’m sorry. I’m really sorry Khushi.”

 

Khushi had lost herself for a moment and wanted to forgive Arnav for everything. She just wanted to be in his arms again where she knew it was safe and nothing and no one could touch her but it wasn’t that easy. She wiped away her tears and stood her ground, “It’s too late Arnav. How do I forgive you for something you did so long ago? Something that ruined everything I had? I can’t and you were right. It was too late then and it’s too late now.” She started walking away from him when he caught hold of her wrist and stopped her. “I know it’s not easy but I’m willing to do anything Khushi. Anything. I can’t take it anymore. It hurts too much to know you’re right here but you’re not with me. Only I know how I’ve lived all this time without you,” Khushi felt her heart shatter with every word he said, “The only thing that kept me alive was the hope that I’d find you one day.” She turned back to look at him and she could see everything. All his pain, the hurt, the regret. “Please Khushi. Please don’t go,” he begged her.